Dodging Parents

There’s a reason FOUND doesn’t distribute resources directly to parents.

I designed our model to help children without enabling irresponsible behavior from the adults responsible for them.

I call it “dodging parents.” 

During my first three years working with families in need, I encountered plenty of parents who were doing absolutely everything they could to provide for their children.

Mothers working three jobs. Fathers stretching every dollar. Parents making impossible choices between groceries, electricity, and shoes for their kids.

I wanted to help them all.

But I also encountered parents who weren’t prioritizing their children’s needs. Parents who repeatedly requested help but weren’t responsible with the resources they’d already received.

And that bothered me. Deeply. 

Because I wanted to help their children, too. But I felt very responsible for the donated goods and funds that were in my hands to steward well. 

And I didn’t want to enable the behavior that was contributing to their circumstances.

So I developed a different approach.

We took parents out of the distribution process entirely and put the resources directly into the hands of educators. 

School nurses, counselors, teachers, and administrators already see these needs every day. They know which children are coming to school hungry, wearing shoes that don’t fit, or going without warm clothing.

The result of working with educators was something even better than I’d imagined.

I created a model that does two things simultaneously.

It empowers hardworking parents.

Imagine the mother working three jobs who knows her son desperately needs new shoes but simply cannot afford them this week.

When his school counselor quietly provides those shoes, that mother doesn’t have to miss work, ask for another handout, or choose between paying the electric bill and caring for her child.

Her child is provided for. And she can sleep a little better that night knowing someone came alongside her. Someone at her child’s SCHOOL. So she prioritizes attendance. 

It’s teamwork. It’s empowerment. It’s community.

And it doesn’t enable irresponsible parents.

When a parent isn’t being a good steward of the resources available to them, their child can still receive what they need without those resources passing through the parent’s hands.

The child isn’t punished for the parent’s decisions, and our generosity doesn’t have to reinforce those decisions.

That’s an important distinction.

Compassion and accountability can coexist.

I didn’t create FOUND to judge parents. I created it because I believe children shouldn’t have to suffer because of circumstances or decisions entirely outside their control.

Our model allows us to support responsible parents, avoid enabling irresponsible behavior, and most importantly, make sure children have what they need.

It’s remarkably simple. 

And incredibly intentional.

We don’t have to decide whether a parent deserves our help to know that their child does.

That’s why FOUND works through educators.

And that’s why we always will.